


This Time

by misskatieleigh, rogueshadows



Series: On My Own Too Long [2]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Established Relationship, Kink Negotiation, Light Bondage, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining While in a Relationship, Relationship Negotiation, Rimming, Romance, Skype, mild second-hand embarrassment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-04-16 14:33:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14166987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misskatieleigh/pseuds/misskatieleigh, https://archiveofourown.org/users/rogueshadows/pseuds/rogueshadows
Summary: “I’m not panicking,” Bodhi said. If he could just convince himself of that, things would go a lot smoother.





	1. May

**Author's Note:**

> The sequel to This Year that no one knew they wanted!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to bright elen for the beta assist, *blows kisses*
> 
> Takes place just before the end of the first fic.

Bodhi couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so nervous about a date. He straightened up in the mirror, making a face at himself and sighing. He needed to get a grip before Cassian got there. He’d already switched outfits three times; the dark jeans and sweater would have to do. Grabbing a blazer to pair with them, he left his room before he could change his mind, going to sit on the couch to try and relax. He found himself fiddling with his phone after only a few minutes, shooting off another anxious text to Jyn. 

**⟪Bodhi: I think I’m dressed up enough? But what if I’m not?? Fuck.⟫**

Bodhi wished that he had thought to ask where they were going, or that he’d had more time to work the nerves out of his system. Just as much, he wished Cassian were already there in front of him. He had missed him so ridiculously it was almost like they had never made up. 

**⟪Jyn: Bodhi, this is your tenth text to me this past hour. Take a breath.⟫**

**⟪Jyn: It’s not even the outfit, right? You’re panicking for no reason!!⟫**

Bodhi furrowed his brow. He knew that Jyn was right, but knowing it didn’t make the anxious feeling in his chest go away. Halfway through typing a glib response, the phone buzzed in his hand, flashing Jyn’s name and ridiculous caller ID photo. He startled, biting off the curse that flew to his mouth before answering, ready for whatever pep talk Jyn had up her sleeve.

“I’m not panicking,” Bodhi said first. If he could just convince himself of that, things would go a lot smoother. Jyn scoffed annoyingly and, somehow, Bodhi knew she was rolling her eyes.

 _“You are, but it’s okay. I expected it,”_ Jyn said. 

“That’s reassuring.” Bodhi took a deep breath. He knew it was stupid to feel this way, it wasn’t like this was their first date. Still, he hated that he was that obvious.

_“I didn’t mean it like that, just try to calm down.”_

Bodhi tried, but his insecurities, unfounded or not, left him on edge. The thought of coming this far, only to realize he and Cassian wouldn’t work, or that Cassian didn’t want him after all was too much to fathom. 

“What if I fuck it up?”

_“Bodhi, don’t you think both of you have fucked up enough for a lifetime? It’s all out of the way now, this is the easy part.”_

“I guess, it’s just weird not seeing him for so long after we _finally_ sorted our shit out. Everything else had to go and get in the way. With this big gap and both of us working...what if he changed his mind?” That was the crux of it. _What if I’m not enough?_

Jyn sighed. _“Bodhi, you know he wouldn’t do that to you. He’s head over heels the same as you, you idiot!”_

Bodhi knew that, to some degree, and remembering that fact did lessen his anxiety a bit.

The last time he had seen Cassian was two weeks earlier, taking advantage of a few hours gap in time between flights. Cassian had met him at the airport and they’d taken a taxi downtown to grab lunch together at the Chinese place they both liked. It hadn’t been a date exactly, or it didn’t feel like one at least, with Bodhi still in his flight uniform and Cassian dressed casually. Bodhi appreciated it still, being able to just sit with Cassian and talk. Holding hands across the table had sent warmth spreading through Bodhi, making him wish more than anything that he could stay. Unfortunately, Cassian had needed to head back to work also, a big story coming out soon that he needed to prep more with his editor. Bodhi had hailed a cab and they’d said their goodbyes on the sidewalk with a lingering kiss. 

He thought of that and felt the well of yearning in his chest again, overtaking everything else. 

“Thanks Jyn,” Bodhi said, because, even if she did call him an idiot, she had a point. As usual.

_“You're welcome. Someday you'll have to repay the favor. I expect the pep talk to be epic, so start practicing now.”_

Bodhi laughed, about to mock her over her own recently-exciting love life when the buzzer to his apartment sounded.

“He’s here, talk later!” Bodhi said. Jyn’s cackle of laughter cut off as he hung up and scrambled to buzz Cassian in. 

Bodhi had offered to just wait downstairs, but Cassian had insisted on picking him up at the door like a ‘real gentleman.’ Bodhi paced in front of his door before stopping to smooth out the wrinkles in his pants in the few extra moments. Cassian knocked and Bodhi pulled the door open, throat going dry at the sight of him. Cassian wore a dark suit, the pressed white collar of his dress shirt left unbuttoned to expose the hollow of his throat. He was holding flowers and looked about as flustered as Bodhi felt. Bodhi couldn’t hold back the blush that spread over his face as Cassian’s eyes tracked over him appreciatively, biting his lip in a grin when he met Bodhi’s eyes.

“C’mere,” Bodhi said, unable to stand waiting any longer to kiss him. He reached out and Cassian stepped forward willingly, meeting Bodhi in the middle for a kiss that moved from chaste to decidedly not in a matter of moments, flowers dropping the floor when Cassian brought his hand up to curl around the back of Bodhi’s neck. It took all of Bodhi’s willpower not to walk backward and pull him into the apartment completely. To head to his bedroom and forget about their plans. When they pulled apart for air, Cassian looked dazed. Giddy that he could do that to Cassian with only a kiss, Bodhi stayed close, leaning forward to brush his lips against Cassian’s jaw. Cassian wrapped his arms around Bodhi’s waist and held him.

“I kind of missed you,” Bodhi admitted, with his face pressed close to Cassian’s ear, delighted at Cassian’s soft laugh in response.

“Me too,” Cassian answered, pulling back slightly from the embrace to see Bodhi’s grin. He looked past Bodhi, for a second, almost wistfully. Like he was having the same thoughts about staying in. He seemed to decide against it though, leaning down to retrieve the flowers he’d dropped and holding them out sheepishly.

“I know it’s a bit silly and traditional, but I got you these.” Bodhi accepted the bouquet, a soft pang of tenderness filling his chest. Bodhi pressed his face in close to smell them, inhaling the soft fragrance and feeling his face heat from how fondly Cassian was watching him. 

“I love them,” Bodhi said, “I’ll put them in...a bowl or something. I’m not sure that I have a vase.” 

“I’ll remember to bring that too, next time,” Cassian said with a laugh. Bodhi ducked into the kitchen and took care of the flowers as quickly as he could, pausing to admire the simple arrangement until his nerves sent him rushing back toward Cassian. At the door, Cassian offered his hand, tangling their fingers together and leading him out into the hallway. 

“We’ll have to be sure not to wake the neighbors when we come back.” Bodhi said, as they passed the door of the nurse he’d finally made amends with. 

“We could always go back to mine after instead,” Cassian offered.

Bodhi thought about teasing Cassian for insinuating that he would put out, but the words stuck in his throat. Cassian’s apartment was uncharted territory for them - some correlation between Cassian letting him into his apartment and Cassian letting him into his life that Bodhi didn’t want to examine too closely. Instead, he smiled and pulled Cassian toward the stairs. 

***

Standing and clutching at each other against the motion of the subway car, Cassian couldn’t resist the urge to dip down and kiss Bodhi. Riding the subway together brought up bittersweet memories of the last time they did this, similar and yet so different now that they were both on the same page. Bodhi sighed when they pulled apart, keeping his fingers wrapped up in Cassian’s lapel.

“So, what stop are we getting off at?” he asked, voice low and distracting. Cassian barely remembered that he meant to keep it a secret, pausing with his mouth open before sorting out a reply.

“You just want to try and guess where I’m taking you. I told you, it’s a surprise.”

“Come on Cass, we’re practically there,” Bodhi pressed, looking up at him innocently. It was an act, Cassian knew, but it still almost worked against him.

“All the more reason for you to hold out. It’ll be nice, I promise.”

Cassian didn’t want to admit how little he actually knew about the place, aside from it’s exclusivity and supposedly unrivaled romantic atmosphere. It had been chosen with help from a friend at work who insisted it was the best, they’d even helped him pull strings to get the reservation on such short notice when his and Bodhi’s schedules miraculously cleared. 

Bodhi looked a little put out at the evasion, like he was trying to puzzle out a way to win still. Cassian leaned in to kiss him again before he could, silencing any further attempt to get the information out of him. One kiss turned into a few, and if Cassian caught a few dirty looks sent their way, he definitely couldn’t bring himself to care. 

The automated system called out the station name, scratching through the speakers almost inaudibly as the train screeched to a stop, and Cassian looked up, grinning when he realized it was their station. Bodhi was flushed, mouth bruised pink from kissing, looking unbearably gorgeous as a smile played across his lips. Cassian grabbed his hand and tugged him along out of the subway car before they could get any more distracted.

“It’s not far,” Cassian said, leading Bodhi toward the stairs up to the street. Bodhi looked at the station name, glancing around the platform with a look of concentration on his face. 

“This better not just be some joke, an uptown McDonald’s or something.”

“It’s a Burger King actually,” Cassian joked and Bodhi wrinkled his nose, pretending to laugh. 

The walk to the restaurant went by quickly, Bodhi casually swinging their joined hands in between them as they walk. The place wasn’t so obviously upscale from the front, an old building set between two larger brick ones. Once they were inside, though, Bodhi stilled, his eyes sweeping over the chandeliers and the fireplace before darting back to Cassian.

“Really Cass? This looks...” Bodhi started and Cassian hushed him, feeling nervous that maybe he’d overdone things. He wanted things to be right, so badly.

“Come on, we don’t want to miss our reservation.” Bodhi bit his lip, only letting go of Cassian’s hand so Cassian could slip forward and give the hostess his name. They were led through to a larger room with a high ceiling, light glowing warm from the even more ornate chandeliers. The hostess settled them at an intimate corner table, giving them the menus along with an extensive wine list to look over before their waiter arrived. Cassian thanked her and she went, leaving him alone with Bodhi, who still looked a bit overwhelmed. 

Bodhi looked at the price for the three course meal and laughed.

“You really didn’t have to take me someplace this nice. I’ll probably put out anyways.”

Cassian knew he meant it, that they could have eaten Chinese back in his apartment and Bodhi would have been just as glad. Cassian didn’t know what it would take for Bodhi to realize he deserved to be romanced like this. 

“I wanted to,” Cassian answered sincerely. Being able to take Bodhi out wasn’t about showing off. More like a reminder, to them both, that they were choosing to do things the right way this time. The way Bodhi looked in the glow of the candlelight was worth more than anything he could imagine, his heart achingly full at the sight.

Bodhi blushed under Cassian’s gaze, looking nervous but smiling back.

“I would have worn something nicer,” Bodhi said, “might have had to borrow it from you though.”

“You look perfect,” Cassian insisted. Bodhi tugged on his sleeves, looking pleased and almost shy.

“I tried to, for you.”

“Honestly Bo, you always look perfect to me.”

“You’re such a sap,” Bodhi said, but the corners of his eyes crinkled, and he swayed forward toward Cassian like he had no control over the action.

“This atmosphere just brings out the romantic in me.” 

Bodhi huffed another soft laugh, eyeing the menu again, but with a little less shock. A bit of the anxiety in Cassian’s chest lifted, knowing he hadn’t blown this. They managed to order food when the waiter came over, only stumbling a little over wine choices that neither of them knew anything about. 

Once they were alone again, Bodhi reached out his hand across the table and Cassian took the hint, offering out his palm to tangle their fingers together. 

“I feel like we’re in Beauty and the Beast or something,” Bodhi said, amused. “Thankfully with less singing furniture.”

“Should feel more like Hamilton. This used to be Aaron Burr’s house.”

“Really?” Bodhi asked, perking up in his seat. Cassian nodded, launching in to the fun facts he’d managed to remember from the restaurant website.

***

Having more than one glass of wine was maybe a mistake, the alcohol loosening Bodhi’s tongue far more than he wanted to admit. Not that he’d ever been one to hold back when it came to Cassian. Not since they’d sorted themselves out, at least.

“You look lovely too, you know,” Bodhi said, licking at the corner of his mouth. “Took a lot of willpower not to just drag you back to my bedroom at the apartment.”

Even in the low light of the restaurant, Bodhi could see the flush that settled across Cassian’s cheekbones, the fork in his hand clattering against his plate when he set it down. It probably wasn’t fair to tease, not when he wasn’t far off in feeling flustered.

“You can’t just say things like that, Bodhi!” Cassian leaned forward, hissing the words under his breath as he looked around. Bodhi brushed his foot against Cassian’s calf as punctuation, huffing out a laugh. He wanted to kiss the scowl off Cassian’s face, but doubted he could keep it chaste. This wasn’t the sort of place for impromptu makeouts, not that any restaurant really was.

“I’ll have even more to say about it later,” Bodhi promised, smirking slightly and enjoying the way Cassian’s eyes narrowed in response. He was definitely thinking about the possibilities, what they could up to when they were alone for real. Bodhi startled when the waiter re-appeared to take their dessert order, ignoring the wink teasingly offered when he looked up in confusion. For half a second, Bodhi considered skipping out on the course, a different thought making him grin instead.

“I’ll have the chocolate souffle,” Bodhi said smoothly, the low buzz of arousal and almost-intoxication settling under his skin. Cassian ordered simple ice cream, eying him suspiciously. When the dessert arrived, Bodhi scooped the first bite into his mouth with a low pleased sound that made Cassian choke. 

Bodhi held Cassian’s gaze, pulling the spoon from his mouth slowly. Cassian whimpered softly, dragging his eyes away to look down at his melting ice cream instead. Bodhi’s darted his tongue out to chase a drip of chocolate sauce, sure that he must look obscene, but too far into it to care. 

“Bodhi,” Cassian said warningly.

Bodhi smiled, keeping his lips shut in case there was chocolate all over his teeth. “Your ice cream’s going to melt if you don’t eat it, you know.”

Cassian’s answering smile was full of mischief. “Can think of something else I’d rather have for dessert, actually.”

Leaning forward and suddenly not caring one bit about what a mess he might be, Bodhi pulled Cassian into a kiss. He shivered when Cassian’s tongue darted out, licking the taste of chocolate from the seam of his lips. Cassian pulled back with a cough, ducking his head for a moment before looking up to search for their waiter. Bodhi took a deep breath, trying to get his composure back. If this were a movie they would toss money on the table and get out of there, but life was not a movie, so they had to suffer through waiting for the check and signing the credit card slip, Bodhi curling his hands into fists in his lap to keep from reaching out for Cassian again. They might never go to this restaurant again, but he didn’t want to make a scene either.

Outside the restaurant, he had no such restraint, pushing Cassian up against the brick of the neighboring building, hands pushing underneath his suit jacket to tug the shirt loose from his pants. 

Cassian laughed against his mouth, reaching down to stop Bodhi’s wandering hands. “Hey, calm down a little.”

Bodhi tucked his face up against Cassian’s neck, breathing in the familiar scent of him and fighting back the urge to leave a mark there where anyone could see. 

“We need… Uber, or something. Whose apartment is closer?” Bodhi choked the words out, gratified by the way Cassian’s pulse sped up under his mouth.

“A-already on the way. Think I’m closer, actually.”

“Next time we’re going somewhere within walking distance,” Bodhi murmured.

Cassian laughed, the sound vibrating through Bodhi. “Definitely.”

A car pulled up behind them, window rolling down to reveal a guy in his mid-twenties, tattoos covering most of both arms and peeking out of the collar of his shirt.

“You Cassian?” he asked, squinting at the way Bodhi swayed against Cassian. He climbed out when Cassian nodded, coming around to open the door for them. 

“He better not puke in my backseat.” 

Bodhi flushed, pulling away from Cassian to climb into the car. “M’not drunk, don't worry.”

“Yeah, alright. No sex in there either.”

Cassian grinned as he slipped into the backseat. “Don't worry, I'll keep him in line.”

Bodhi couldn't see the driver anymore, but he caught his own reflection in the window, streetlights washing out his features. He pressed his hand against the coolness of the glass for a second, then against his neck, trying to pull himself together. 

Cassian's hand landed on his thigh, squeezing lightly to get his attention. “Alright?” he asked.

Bodhi tipped his head back against the seat and smiled, half a laugh escaping his mouth. “Yeah, will be.”

He covered Cassian's hand with his own, threading their fingers together. Cassian bumped his knee against Bodhi's, worry falling away from his face as he slid his hand an inch higher. 

“Oi, I mean it. Keep it in your pants, that upholstery is a bitch to clean.” The driver sounded gruff, but he winked at Bodhi in the rear view when their eyes met, reaching over to turn up the radio and pull out into traffic.

***

No sooner were they inside Cassian’s apartment, than Bodhi had him backed up against the door. Cassian dropped his head back against the wood, twisting his arm back to turn the lock. Bodhi held him in place with his weight leaned against Cassian’s hips, mouthing at his collarbone distractingly. 

“Couldn’t wait to get you back here,” he murmured between kisses, the sharp edge of his teeth glancing across Cassian’s skin. 

“I noticed a little.” Cassian let out a laugh, breath hitching as Bodhi’s hand grazed across his stomach, unbuttoning his shirt insistently. 

Bodhi pulled his mouth back, leaning his forehead against Cassian’s chest. “We never - before. We never came here. Was always you coming to mine, you know?”

Cassian ran his hands up Bodhi’s back, pulling him in close. “I know. Wanted you here then, but… I couldn’t have you in my bed and then let you go again. That sounds ridiculous, I know.”

Bodhi made a noise of disagreement, his eyebrows drawing together. “No, it’s not - It’s not ridiculous.”

Cassian pulled his mouth up into a smile. He hadn’t meant to derail them like that. “It’s different now though. Like real actual boyfriends.”

Bodhi looked up, through his lashes - something that Cassian thought should honestly be illegal - the sadness falling away to reveal a playful look. “Well, _boyfriend_ , are you going to take me to bed, or what?”

“Don’t know, you seemed pretty intent on having me right here a second ago,” Cassian teased, grateful for the chance to ease the fragility of the moment. 

Bodhi’s face broke into a grin, and Cassian’s heart only beat faster. “Think I had too much wine to coordinate anything up against the wall at this point.” He stepped backward, curling his fingers through Cassian’s belt and tugging him forward. “Come on, lets make it to the couch at least.”

They stumbled toward the living room while Cassian pushed off his shirt and suit jacket, not caring where they fell with his attention focused solely on Bodhi’s face. Bodhi led him to the couch and pushed him down onto it, stepping between Cassian’s legs before dropping down onto his own knees. 

Cassian smiled, and brushed his knuckles down Bodhi’s flushed cheek. “Thought you’d come up here - what are you doing?”

Hand still tucked into Cassian’s belt, Bodhi started working the leather free from the buckle, leaving it threaded through Cassian’s pants as he undid the closure. He rolled his eyes a little at Cassian’s question, but he still bit his lip before answering. “Wanna get my mouth on you.”

Cassian leaned forward, reaching for Bodhi and pulling him into a kiss. Bodhi whined softly, hands still tucked into Cassian’s lap, and they both broke apart gasping for breath when Bodhi’s fingers snuck into Cassian’s underwear and wrapped around his cock. “Fuck.”

“We’ll get there,” Bodhi said, then pushed Cassian back, shifting his knees apart as he leaned down to take Cassian into his mouth, tongue slicking the way.

Bodhi bobbed down a couple times, wrapping his hand around the base to hold Cassian in place. He drew back to lick across the head, looking up at Cassian with dark eyes. Cassian groaned, fisting his hands at his sides. 

“Fuck, you look good like that, Bodhi.” 

Bodhi smiled, choked a little, and pulled back. “Like when you talk to me, you know,” he said, voice strained. “And touching’s allowed, too. Encouraged even.”

Then Bodhi’s mouth was back again, and Cassian could hear words spilling from his lips, but he couldn’t be certain if any were coherent. All he could focus on was the shift of muscle underneath his hand where he had it curved around the back of Bodhi’s neck, the slick noises Bodhi’s mouth made moving over him, and the curl of pleasure slowly winding through his body. 

Cassian tightened his fingers, thumb pressed against the base of Bodhi’s skull. “Getting close, if you wanna…” 

Instead of pulling off like he expected, Bodhi seemed to redouble his effort, every bob of his head pushing Cassian’s cock a little deeper into his mouth. When Cassian’s cock hit the back of Bodhi’s throat, he swallowed, and Cassian keened, his hips stuttering forward before he could rein himself in. 

“Fuck, sorry - sorry,” he said, but Bodhi was whimpering, hand clutching at Cassian’s hip. Bodhi looked up, swallowing again, and Cassian was done for. His orgasm flooded through him, head tipping back against the coach as he bit his lip to keep from shouting. Bodhi swallowed as much as he could, the last few spurts catching him across the chin and clinging to his short beard. 

Cassian sat for a moment, trying to catch his breath, focusing again when he heard the sound of a zipper, and saw the motion of Bodhi’s arm down between his legs. 

“Hey, hey no - come up, come up here. Fuck, wanna touch you.” He slipped his hands under Bodhi’s arms and tugged him upward, until Bodhi climbed to his feet, cock jutting out from the confines of his pants, his underwear pushed down and out of the way. Cassian shoved them both down further, holding Bodhi steady so he could step out, then rucking up his sweater until he reached back and pulled it over his head. 

“Got me naked,” Bodhi rasped, voice strained. “Now what?”

Cassian lifted up enough to push his own pants down to his knees, then pulled Bodhi into his lap, the head of Bodhi’s cock grazing against Cassian’s stomach in the process. Bodhi drew in a sharp breath, then reached for his own cock, fisting his hand around it roughly. Cassian dragged his hands up Bodhi’s thighs, then reached up to pull Bodhi down into a kiss, licking the taste of his own come out of Bodhi’s mouth. 

Bodhi whined, his hand moving faster, knuckles brushing against Cassian’s stomach. Cassian pulled back and nuzzled at Bodhi’s throat. “Gonna stay here with me tonight? Want to see what you look like in my bed in the morning. Want you to stay long enough to have me up against the door, or in the shower, or anywhere else you can think of. Want to be able to look around here, remember you in all these places, to keep me company whenever you’re gone.”

Bodhi gasped, a soft litany of curses falling from his mouth as he came, warm and wet against Cassian’s stomach. He collapsed forward, one hand still curled around his cock, and the other around the back of Cassian’s neck. He looked exhausted, and a little overwhelmed, dropping his head down to press against Cassian’s shoulder. 

“You mean all that, don’t you.” It wasn’t a question, but Cassian answered with a kiss to Bodhi’s temple, and soft words in his ear. 

“Every word. I’m all in this time.”

He could feel Bodhi’s smile, his mouth brushing against Cassian’s skin as he spoke. 

“Me too.” 


	2. June/July/August

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for mild second hand embarrassment

It was hard to fit a relationship into the gaps in their schedules. Being new didn't afford Bodhi the luxury of turning down flights, not when he needed to build up his in-air hours. Half of it was fill-in work on top of that, a co-pilot suddenly out sick or a crew stranded somewhere because of weather. No matter how good it felt to wake up wrapped around Cassian, or show up at his office with lunch and a smile, Bodhi knew it would be worth it in the long run - finding a steady gig and a routine he could plan on somewhere down the line.

It wasn't simple for Cassian either, his downtime interspersed with international red eyes at the last minute, weeks at a time trying to gain the trust of a wavering contact. Every chip he could take out of Imperial’s armor was worth it, in the long run. If it meant one less person was suffering, Cassian would sacrifice a lot. Too much, Bodhi thought sometimes.

There was a thread, connecting Cassian and that company, one that Bodhi was afraid to tug on for fear of unraveling Cassian's carefully constructed facade. 

Instead, he took what he could get, hoarding a cache of small moments in lieu of languid hours. 

***

The first time they tried Skype, Cassian almost electrocuted himself. A combination of jet lag, adapters for foreign electrical outlets, and a leaky window in the hotel led to Cassian’s computer suffering a quick, smoking death, the image on Bodhi’s screen half a world away flashing black and nearly giving him a heart attack. (The gunfire in the background didn’t help that panic either, though he knew Cassian wasn’t near enough to the fighting to be in any real danger.)

Fifteen minutes later, Cassian finally sent him a text, and a photo of his slightly melted keyboard with his own pouting face off to one side. Bodhi replied with a photo of the fire extinguisher he kept under his kitchen sink, his own face caught mid laugh. 

Bodhi went to bed after that, a coil of anxiety squeezing around his lungs that didn’t let up until Cassian’s plane touched down at JFK, an hour before Bodhi was due to fly out to Milwaukee. He pulled Cassian into the too tight space of an airport bathroom stall, both their luggage tucked around their legs, and kissed him until Bodhi’s mouth felt bruised and chapped. His co-pilot (Wedge of all people), smirked when Bodhi shuffled on board, ducking away from the knowing eyes of the flight attendants. 

“Jacket’s buttoned all wrong,” Wedge commented, eyes on the instrument panel. Bodhi shoved him in the shoulder good-naturedly, but accepted the chapstick offered a few minutes later with a wry smile. 

“Thanks”

Wedge shrugged. “No judgement from me, Bo. I know the feeling well.”

The commiseration didn’t really make Bodhi feel better, but he smiled and focused on the horizon out in front of him, the feeling of the sky holding him up on nothing more than air currents, the anticipation of flying back home again soon. He could make it through this. 

***

The first time Skype turned into something _more_ , Bodhi was in Chicago. A summer storm had crashed through, downpour heavy enough to delay flights and throw Bodhi’s schedule completely off course. Cassian was waiting for him at home, New York summer humidity clinging to the ends of his hair, stripped down to a tank and some basketball shorts that Bodhi was half certain belonged to him, necking a bottle of beer and grinning. 

Bodhi sat down on the hotel bed, tugging loose the tie around his neck and scowling. “Someone’s chipper.”

Cassian’s smile faded a little, but he turned his head toward the window and swiped at the hair falling across his forehead. He drained the bottle, throat working in a series of lazy swallows that made Bodhi clench his hands in his lap, then flopped down onto his back on the bed. 

“Made some progress on my story today, Draven took me out to celebrate a little.” Face tilting toward the screen, Cassian bit his lip. “Not happy that you’re not here. Had… plans, you know. Fucking weather.”

Bodhi left the tie dangling around his neck and started working on his shirt buttons, sighing at his own pissy attitude. “Sorry. I know that. It’s just… well, you know.” He made himself smile, listened to Cassian’s breath speed up. “What sort of plans?”

The smile that flickered over Cassian’s face was slightly more predatory than Bodhi was expecting, his voice dipping down to a whisper as he rolled onto his side and lazily dragged his hand over his stomach. “Oh, you know. The naked sort.”

Bodhi shrugged his shirt off of his shoulders and stood up to start working at his belt. Cassian made a sharp noise, and when Bodhi leaned down to look at the screen, he had the heel of his palm pressed down over the crotch of his shorts. “Are you actually trying to murder me, or will it be an accident?”

Bodhi finished with his belt, the buckle making a soft jangling sound when he let go to tug the button of his slacks loose. He smirked, said, “A little of both,” and pushed his pants down to his knees. 

Cassian cursed. 

Laughter in his voice, Bodhi said, “We could still have naked plans, you know. That’s totally a thing that people do.”

Cassian’s eyes drifted closed, nostrils flaring out as he gathered himself to respond. “I - you. Fuck. Really?”

Bodhi laughed, pushing his laptop across the bed and crawling up on the mattress beside it, pants left in a puddle on the floor. He’d have to pick those up or they’d be a mess in the morning, but he wasn’t going to stop now that he had Cassian’s attention. 

“I’m game if you are. You want to tell me what to do, or should I just go for it?”

“Fucking hell, you _are_ trying to murder me. No, just… do what you’d do if you were alone.” Cassian’s lower lip was glossy where he kept darting his tongue out to lick it, fuller than normal from his teeth biting into it. Bodhi wanted to kiss him, taste the beer lingering in the corners of his mouth, and the mezcal Cassian probably had earlier sharp on the back of his tongue. He rucked up the edge of the t-shirt he wore under his uniform, dragged his fingers through the hair on his stomach and up to tweak his nipple underneath the white cotton. When Bodhi looked up at the computer screen, Cassian was mirroring the action, hips shifting restlessly on the bed.

“Now you,” Bodhi said, voice thick, “What would you do next?”

Cassian reached down and shoved at his shorts, sliding them down over his hips and taking his underwear with them in one go. The fabric hung up on his ankle, and Cassian’s foot twitched in an effort to dislodge it, but he gave up in favor of reaching down and roughly grasping his cock. 

Bodhi did the same, pushing his underwear down just past his hips and leaving them there, his own hand a bit more gentle as he wrapped his fingers around himself, thumb teasing at the head. He let out a breath, half a laugh following along with the exhalation as he watched Cassian watching him. “Maybe I’ll get some pointers out of this. An added bonus or something.”

Cassian’s voice stuttered as he responded. “N-no. Like the way you do it already. I’m usually ju-just trying to get to the end part, fast as - fast as I can.” He paused to spit into his free hand, reaching down to spread the wetness over his cock with a sharply drawn in breath. “You always - always seem like you’re savoring it. L-like you don’t want it to be over.”

Bodhi tipped over onto his back, bending his knees so he could push up into his own fist, enough precome dripping from the tip of his cock that he didn’t need any extra lubricant to ease the way. “I don’t,” he whispered, confessing his heart to the hotel room ceiling, lit blue by the glow of the computer screen. “Never want to stop, with you. Never have enough time either.”

Cassian groaned. Outside the hotel, the wind whipped water against the glass, the sound filling the silence that otherwise would have surrounded Bodhi, masking the slick shift of his hand over his skin. In the distance, a flash of lightning split the sky, and Bodhi unconsciously counted the seconds before the crash, skin tingling like some of that electricity had gotten into his room with the light. Ten seconds passed, then a low rumble sounded in the distance, the storm miles away. He turned his face back to the computer, tracked the flush building down Cassian’s chest and disappearing under his shirt. “Wanna see you, Cass. Are you getting close yet?”

Cassian nodded, mouth hanging open. “Y-yeah. Almost.” He tilted a little, propping his heel against the mattress. Bodhi could just barely make out one of Cassian’s arms slipping around behind his back, a hand hidden in the shadow cast by his legs in counter to the hand working a stuttered rhythm over his cock. Then, in a sudden flood of light that made Bodhi wince and look away from the screen, the overhead lights in Cassian’s room flicked on, followed by a yelp from Cassian. 

_“Cassian, your phone is shut off and Jyn Erso is a menace that won’t leave me alo --- oh shit.”_

“Kay, what the fuck!”

_“I was attempting to be a good friend, assessing your state of...aliveness. I did not realize that you had taken a job as a cam-boy.”_

Cassian’s face was redder than it had been when he was on the verge of coming, a vein standing out in the center of his forehead. He grasped around for a sheet to cover himself, and then, in apparent desperation, pulled the laptop over his groin. Bodhi got an eyeful of Cassian’s cock, very close up and very much still interested in the proceedings, and then mostly darkness, Cassian and Kay’s voices coming through the speakers muffled. 

_“I’m not a cam-boy, what is wrong with you?”_

_“I realize that. It was an attempt at humor. Art says that I am hilarious, but no one else ever seems to get my jokes._

_“You need to get out of my apartment, before I do something drastic.”_

_“I think what you were doing before would qualify as drastic, but who am I to judge? Tell Bodhi I said hello and that it is my turn to be the banker on our next game night.”_

_“Kay!”_

_“Fine. Unappreciative.”_

By the time Cassian returned his laptop to its previous position, Bodhi was on his stomach, cackling with laughter, underwear still trapping his thighs together. Cassian scowled, pushing his hair back off his forehead. “Oh ha ha, yes it’s hilarious.”

Bodhi gasped for air. “Kay! He - oh god. That was too much.” Finally getting his breathing back under control, Bodhi waggled his eyebrows suggestively. “Thanks for the close up shot, by the way. It was almost like real life, except without a face full of come at the end.”

Cassian’s mouth relaxed a little, the flush receding back from his face. “I’m a little disturbed that I’m still into this actually.”

Bodhi grinned, then tucked his face into his folded arms a little. “Secret exhibitionist Cassian Andor, who knew?” He shuffled a little closer to the computer, doing his best to look up through his eyelashes at Cassian. “I don’t recommend trying to come on my face on your computer screen, but you can pretend I guess.”

Cassian huffed a little, tugging the laptop closer to his face as he laid back against the pillows. “I think I’ll wait for the real thing, but you go ahead if you want.”

Bodhi fought back a grin, raising his eyebrows a little as he rolled back onto his side to display his spent cock. “Uh. I’m all set, apparently. Guess you’re a better cam-boy than you thought.”

Cassian flipped him off, but he was smiling, thumb tracing the edge of the computer screen. “You’re terrible. Still love you, but just so you know.”

Bodhi touched his fingers to his mouth and blew a kiss at Cassian. “Love you too. Tell Kay goodnight if he’s still waiting in your living room.”

Cassian’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline. “Oh fuck, he probably is. I gotta go.”

The call disconnected and Bodhi flipped down the lid on his laptop with a smile on his face and a little bit less of an ache in his chest. 

He could do this. 

***

Cassian was working too hard. Bodhi could see it, even in the time they had together, but when they were apart Bodhi knew it was worse.

He was on a layover in Seattle, covering a flight for a pilot whose wife had gone into labor early. Cassian was at home, hunched over his laptop, researching whatever new shell companies Imperial had set up to hide their illegal activities. He picked up the Skype call and offered half a smile to Bodhi through the camera, face leaned onto the palm of his hand, elbow propped on the desk. 

“Hey, good flight?”

Bodhi fought the urge to nag Cassian about going to bed. He was tired too, and he didn’t want to start an argument that he couldn’t set right in person. “Was fine. Nothing eventful happened, anyway. Making any progress over there?”

Cassian hummed softly, shoulders rising and falling in a shrug. “Not sure. I think I’ve read the same paragraph three times though.”

“Maybe -” Bodhi winced, trying to keep his voice pleasant “- maybe it’s time to call it a night?”

Cassian looked up, their eyes meeting directly for the first time that night. A little bit of the tension lifted off of Cassian’s face, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he attempted a smile. “I’m kind of a mess, aren’t I? Guess you didn’t realize you signed up for such a workaholic before.”

Leaning closer to the screen, Bodhi shook his head. “No, Cass. I know… this is important to you. Important to all of us, really, even if not many people realize it. I just…” He lifted his hand, touched the screen with the tips of his fingers. “Wish I could take care of you.”

Cassian straightened in his chair, head tipping down bashfully. “Feel the same for you, you know.” He cleared his throat. “Why don’t you make some tea and we’ll talk for a few minutes, then I promise I’ll go to bed.”

“Sounds like a deal to me.”

By the time Bodhi walked back over to his laptop, Cassian’s eyes had slipped closed. He set down the paper cup of tea - a sad excuse for it anyway, the water too hot and the leaves crumbling to dust in the bag besides - and tilted the screen back a little as he sat down. His own face in the corner of the screen looked washed out, exhaustion from the hours spent in the air (and the hours in between, stuck in his own personal holding pattern) evident in the bruised circles under his eyes. 

The clock in the corner said midnight, which meant it was three am where Cassian was. Guilt and its lovely friend doubt warred for attention in Bodhi's gut, beat out by the overwhelming desire to be in that bed with Cassian, tucked up against his back with nothing but the morning to worry about.

Before he could think better of it, Bodhi snapped a screenshot of the scene: Cassian's face pillowed against his arm, the furrow of worry between his brows softened to a faint line, hair rucked up on one side from where Cassian had run his hand through it. 

_I love him._

It was as true from three time zones away as it was when they were in the same room, but it still made Bodhi's chest ache, all the wanting he'd done in their time apart piled up into something overwhelming and all-encompassing. He hoped that feeling never went away.

Saving the photo, Bodhi ended the Skype call and closed his laptop. Tomorrow, they could try again. Some tomorrow, this would be worth it.


	3. September

Cassian shoved the papers on his desk to the side, a cup full of pens tipping over and spilling onto the floor. His passport was there five minutes ago, and then, suddenly, it was nowhere. 

“Damnit, where did it go?”

He only barely registered the sound of the lock turning, the door to his apartment opening as he forced himself to slow down. Shoving things around never helped, he ought to know better by now. Bodhi’s luggage came in first, the wheeled bag with his laptop balanced on top, jacket folded over the handle as he maneuvered his way inside. He stopped short just inside the door, the brilliant smile that had been on his face falling away when he saw the disaster of Cassian’s desk matched with the disaster that Cassian was certain he looked like, his own suitcase open on the couch half-filled. 

“Oh,” was all Bodhi said, was all he could seem to get out before he recovered and pasted an unconvincing smile back across his mouth. “Just missing each other again, then?”

Cassian’s shoulders dropped, everything else taking a back seat for a moment as he fought back the urge to go over and take Bodhi in his arms. “Yeah. Might - might be for a while this time. My contact at Imperial in Lothal has some information, but I need to go there in person to get it. Things… might move really quickly from then on. I’m not sure how long I’ll need to stay in the area.”

Every word out of Cassian’s mouth seemed to make Bodhi draw further and further into himself, his jaw clenching so hard Cassian could see the tense line of it from across the room. He pushed his suitcase up against the wall, shut the door, and walked over to the couch, pushing Cassian’s suitcase to one side far enough that he could sit. 

“Bo, I know we planned to have a few days together, but I’m afraid he’ll get cold feet if I wait too long. You know how important this is to me.”

Bodhi absently began refolding the mess in Cassian’s suitcase, straightening out the wrinkles in his shirts and lining up his socks in the gaps around the other clothing. He didn’t say anything for another minute, just worked methodically with his head tipped down and his lip caught between his teeth. When he did look up there were tears in his eyes.

“Of course I know it’s important to you, Cass. I know your job is important and this _story_ is important.” Bodhi stood up and walked around the back of the couch, swiping at his face with the back of his hand. 

Cassian stepped forward, banging his leg against the corner of the coffee table as he tried to get around. “ _Fuck!_ Bodhi, don’t do that. You’re important too.”

Bodhi looked up again, but this time he was angry. “What about you, though. Are you important, ever? Cass, Lothal... that’s a war zone. I know, I’ve been there. You’re not military, or - or CIA or anything. You’re a reporter, one that they won’t negotiate for if you get caught.”

Leaning down to rub at his leg, a bruise already forming across the front of his shin, Cassian winced. “I’ll be fine. I got you out of a war zone, too, in case you forgot.”

Bodhi’s face went cold, expressionless save the wetness still streaked across his cheeks. “I haven’t forgotten. I know how reckless you are when you think you have nothing to lose.” His face cracked, just for a split second, just long enough that Cassian could see how much Bodhi was fighting to stay still. “Maybe that’s still how you are.”

“Some of are willing to take necessary risks. We can’t wait for things to just fall into our laps before we do something about it.” He regretted saying it as soon as the words slipped from his mouth, knew that it was more complicated than that for Bodhi, but he couldn’t take them back now.

Cassian’s phone buzzed, tucked under a pile of papers, his eyes flipping toward the sound on instinct. “That’s probably my flight confirmation. I need to leave soon.”

Bodhi made a sharp noise, like he was in pain, then turned and headed toward his suitcase, not bothering to turn around to choke out his next words. “If that’s the last thing you have to say to me before you go, well. That’s a risk _you’re_ willing to take, I guess.”

Cassian flashed back to that night in the bar, Bodhi spitting ‘fuck you’ in his face and walking out of his life for almost four whole months. Being with Bodhi like this was stressful - the coming and going, trying to fill the days together to make up for the gaps apart - but it didn’t compare in the least to the hole that had taken over his chest when he thought Bodhi would never speak to him again. He couldn’t do that again.

“Do you realize how much I love you?” Bodhi stopped, hand on the door. “You think I have nothing to lose? I - Bodhi, you are _everything_ to me. You’re the reason this is important, stopping them before they hurt anyone else.” There was a thought, wandering around the back of Cassian’s mind, a constant refrain that had been there since the day he had acknowledged his feelings for Bodhi. _‘Before they manage to hurt you.’_

He plowed on, slowly walking toward Bodhi. “I will not be reckless. If you feel even half of what I feel for you, _fuck_ , I wouldn’t - couldn’t do that to you.”

Bodhi’s shoulders rolled forward, curving around his chest, trying to protect his own heart. Cassian knew that look, he’d seen in on himself too many times.

“I’m scared, Cass.” Bodhi dragged in a breath, the sound wet and heavy. “Even if - even if you try… even if you promise, you can’t know. I took too long to decide, I know that. I have to live with that. Please, don’t become something else that I have to regret.”

Cassian touched Bodhi’s shoulder, urging him to turn around and then pulling Bodhi into his arms, tucked up against his chest. “I’m scared, too. I shouldn’t have said that to you, I know it wasn’t cut and dry for you, and it’s not fair of me to throw it in your face.”

Bodhi curled his hands in Cassian’s shirt, keeping his face pressed against Cassian’s collarbone. “I don’t want to fight anymore,” he whispered. “I love you, Cass, I don’t want… I don’t want to be angry when you leave.” 

Cassian kissed the top of Bodhi’s head. “I don’t want that either.”

Bodhi pulled his head back, then untangled himself from Cassian’s arms, smoothing down the front of his shirt with both hands and visibly gathering himself back into something resembling calm. “Okay. You need to leave soon or you’ll miss your flight. Did you remember your toothbrush?”

Letting the corner of his mouth twist up, Cassian said, “Yes, mom.” Then, sheepishly, “Can’t find my passport, though.”

Bodhi looked toward the disaster of a desk, walking over to pull Cassian’s phone free from the papers that had fallen over it. He turned around with Cassian’s passport in his hand, because, of course, it was right there under Cassian’s phone, where he had left it. 

“My savior.”

Bodhi flushed, and Cassian gave himself five long seconds to commit it to memory, the gentle curve of his mouth, the long straight line of his nose that Cassian both envied and adored. Then, he forced himself to move, gathering the rest of his things and throwing them on top of the clothes that Bodhi had neatly folded. A little bit of Bodhi, and a little bit of himself zipped up in the compartment. 

At the door, Bodhi pulled him into a kiss that ended far too quickly, pulling back to rest their foreheads together for a moment. “Come home safe.”

Cassian nodded, and stepped through the door.

***

Bodhi looked around the apartment, drawing in a deep breath and letting it go in a rush. He wanted, more than anything, to lay down on the couch and have a good cry. But that wouldn’t change anything, and he still needed to get back to his own apartment. At least make sure his ficus wasn’t dead. 

_‘Come home safe.’_ His own words tripped over and over in his mind, curling around and making everything feel heavier than it was. Was this home? Was _he_? It was a conversation for another time, apparently, but that didn’t stop him from dwelling on it.

Bodhi shook himself and looked around at the tornado that Cassian had left in his wake. Cassian wasn’t generally messy, but he clearly hadn’t been intending to leave right then either. Walking around, Bodhi gathered up any dishes he could find, washing them quickly and setting them in the rack to dry. Then, he straightened the papers into a pile on the desk and righted the cup, bending down to pick up the pens from off the floor. 

His knees hit the floor, and for the first time since his mother had died, Bodhi thought about praying. He shoved the idea off; another thing to worry about another day. Pulling himself up, Bodhi walked to the door, and shut off the lights, locking up the apartment behind him as he left.


	4. October

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please mind the tag updates!

The cabin was nothing like Bodhi expected. Cassian had said, ‘Let’s get out of the city for the weekend’, and somehow his work schedule had given them a break right near the end of October. Driving through the riot of gold and orange that was upstate New York in the fall, Bodhi had entertained thoughts of some sleek, glass-enclosed fortress juxtaposed against a jumble of horror-movie-inspired cabins in the wood. This was neither. 

“Draven keeps this place as an escape,” Cassian was saying, pushing past Bodhi where he stood just inside the front door, “I think it used to belong to his grandfather or something, although I suspect he’s expanded a little over the years.”

Bodhi shifted his duffle bag higher on his shoulder and stepped further into the cabin, the entryway, lined with coat hooks and benches, opening into a spacious living room furnished in leather and rich wood. Maybe Draven's grandfather was secretly a Rockefeller or something.

On second thought, it was too tasteful for that family. Everything was comfortable and clean, with just enough detail to imply luxury without being gaudy. Bodhi stared at the couch for a moment, then drew his eyes up - and up - to the vaulted ceiling, crossed with heavy wooden beams and fitted with several skylights.

Cassian's voice broke through, closer than he expected and bright with restrained laughter. “You like it?”

Bodhi dropped his bag and brought his arms up around Cassian's shoulders, fingers clasped at the nape of his neck. “You might have to drag me out when it's time to leave.”

Cassian grinned leaning in close and mouthing at the join of Bodhi's neck and shoulder. “Dragging you out seems counterproductive. I thought the plan was to tie you up, anyway.”

Bodhi choked, fingers digging into Cassian's skin, and what seemed like 90% of the blood in his body rushing to his cock. “Fuck, Cass, you can't just _say_ things like that.”

Cassian drew back, still smiling, but with a serious look in his eyes. “I won't go into this without talking about it first.” Hands at Bodhi's hips, Cassian brought him closer and brushed a lingering kiss against Bodhi's cheek. “It's too easy to get caught up in the moment, end up doing something you regret.”

Bodhi felt warm all over, from Cassian's body pressed along the front of him, from the flush of red he knew was spreading across his cheeks and over the tops of his ears. From the earnest, considerate words lingering between them. He cleared his throat. “No. We have enough regrets already. We'll talk first - I'll even pick out a safeword if you want me to.”

Cassian ducked his head at that, biting his lip, but he nodded all the same. Bodhi slid his hands up the back of Cassian's head, soft strands of hair slipping between his fingers. “Right now, I just want to kiss you. Maybe test out that couch a little.” He leaned in and nipped gently at Cassian's parted lips, tongue slipping out to tease over the sting just briefly. “Do you think Draven will have us murdered if we get come on the leather?”

Cassian groaned, chasing after Bodhi's mouth. “Please, I'd like to still have a job when we get back to the city.”

“Fine, but if I end up with rug burn on my knees this weekend's gonna go downhill real fast.”

***

Bodhi woke up in the most comfortable bed he'd ever slept in, sunlight sneaking past the edge of the curtain pulled across the window and, disappointingly, alone. He groaned and flopped over onto his stomach, burying his face into the duvet and searching for any lingering warmth from Cassian's side of the bed. There wasn't any, which meant Cassian had been up for a while, probably trapped in a research vortex on his laptop and oblivious to the rest of the world. Well, oblivious to most of the world. Bodhi was very good at being a distraction when he wanted to. 

Rolling over once more, Bodhi swung his feet to the floor and sat up, stretching until his back popped in a way that was both satisfying and concerning. He stood up, pulling a hoodie out of his bag and throwing it on over his underwear. He ducked into the bathroom to splash his face with water and half-heartedly brush his teeth, then padded out into the living room. 

Cassian was sitting on the couch, computer open on his lap and his glasses pushed up into his hair. That meant only one thing, frustration, and Bodhi was determined to not let some annoyance from the real world ruin their time together, not after he'd just gotten Cassian back in one piece. Bodhi cleared his throat and walked over, leaning over the back of the couch to drape himself over Cassian’s shoulder and nuzzle down into the warm stretch of skin exposed when he tugged Cassian's sweater to one side. 

“Do I need to hide your computer?” he asked, only half serious. Cassian tipped his head to the side, giving Bodhi more access and letting out a soft moan.

“No, I'm going to hide it from myself. Was just waiting for sleeping beauty to wake up.”

Rolling over the back of the couch (and regretting it immediately, fuck) Bodhi pushed at Cassian's computer and settled his head into Cassian's lap, grinning up at Cassian's exasperated face. “You got a woman stashed here too? All this time, thought I was special.”

He wiped away a fake tear, then stuck out his tongue when Cassian scowled at him, pushing up the edge of Cassian's sweater to feel the warm skin hidden underneath. “You're terrible. Also several people would happily murder me if I cheated on you in any capacity, so no, no women here.”

Bodhi turned his face against Cassian's stomach, pressing a chaste kiss just above the waistband of his jogging pants. Cassian’s muscles twitched and he pushed Bodhi's face away with a laugh. “ _Stop._ That tickles, you menace. The coffee should still be hot if you want some, plus Draven left some fruit and pastries for breakfast.”

Bodhi nuzzled in one last time, then wiggled around until he could sit up without any inopportune elbowing. “Nice. Would have been nicer in bed, delivered by a naked man, but I suppose this will have to do.”

He glanced over his shoulder and caught Cassian shaking his head, tipping his glasses back down onto his nose before calling out, “Can't play all my cards on the first morning; everything's a let down from there on out.”

Bodhi chuckled, but let the matter drop, not wanting to get trapped in an argument when he'd just been intending to be playful. He poured his coffee and picked at the fruit, groaning when he bit into a croissant. “Screw the naked man, I just want pastries forever.”

Cassian came over, empty coffee cup in hand, bare feet quiet against the wood floors. “Screw the naked man, that sounds like a good plan to me.” He grinned briefly, ducking in to kiss Bodhi on the lips and brush crumbs out of his beard. “You want to do anything special today?”

Bodhi's breath hitched, his eyes drawn to the stretch of Cassian's sweater across his chest, the barely visible swell of Cassian's cock against the soft fabric of his sleep pants. He leaned in for a more intent kiss, tongue pressing against the seam of Cassian's lips before pulling away. Ears burning before he even managed to get the words out, Bodhi said, “Want to try that. Um. Want you to - to tie me up, like. Could we maybe do that?”

Cassian crowded him back against the counter, nipping softly at his mouth and cupping his jaw with one hand. “You don’t have to, just because I said it that one time. I’m not - unsatisfied. In any way. You know?”

Bodhi arched up against Cassian, bunching up his sweater and sliding his hands underneath. “No - I - I want to. At least once. If we don’t like it, then we’ll know.”

Cassian reached down and pulled Bodhi’s hands away, pushing them around behind Bodhi’s back and holding him there. Bodhi felt the tension drain out of him, focusing on the grip of Cassian’s fingers around his wrists and the solid press of Cassian’s body against his hips. He could take all the weight off his legs and Cassian would keep him in place, it seemed. Bodhi tipped his head back, exposing his throat and whining softly. 

Cassian smiled, sweet, then a little mischievous. “One of us likes it already, I think.”

“Don’t tease, it’s not nice.”

Ducking in to kiss just below Bodhi’s ear, Cassian murmured, “Love, I think that’s the whole point of this.” He laughed, voice vibrating against Bodhi’s skin. “Okay, tell me the rules then.”

Bodhi lifted his head, rolling his eyes even as his face heated with a sense of embarrassment. "We already went over that before, Cass." Cassian's grip loosened, and he started to pull away. "This is serious, you know." Bodhi squeezed his eyes shut and forced his nerves away. He knew Cassian. He trusted Cassian. This was just… something new.

“Okay. Um, no blood. I don’t… get into that. Nothing painful. I mean, you can be a little rough, but I’d like to be able to walk later. And don’t… don’t leave me alone, when I’m tied up. Tell you if something changes.”

Cassian nodded, leaning in for a lingering kiss that made Bodhi want to melt even more. “Right. What if you want me to stop?”

Bodhi frowned, eyebrows drawing together. “I’ll just...say stop? Is that not good?”

One corner of Cassian’s mouth curled up into a smile. “Just in case, something I can’t misinterpret. I don’t - I won’t ever hurt you, but just for peace of mind. Something you wouldn’t say in bed, ever.”

Bodhi shrugged, the action pulling at Cassian’s grip and reasserting the position that Bodhi was about to put himself into. “Okay, yeah. Um. Kyber, I guess.”

Cassian drew a line down Bodhi’s throat with one knuckle, ending in the hollow between his collarbones. “Like that necklace Jyn wears, yeah?”

Bodhi swallowed, his voice lost somewhere in between the heated look in Cassian’s eyes and the way his hips kept shifting forward. ‘Y-yeah. Can we - can we go to the bedroom yet? Or d’you have more questions…”

Cassian’s grip on his wrists eased off, his hand slipping down to tangle with Bodhi’s fingers. “No more questions, I promise. You go ahead in, I’ll be just a minute.”

Bodhi pushed forward, leaning up for another kiss, getting lost in the feel of Cassian’s mouth opening under his own, the taste of coffee lingering in Cassian’s mouth reminding him that he’d never even managed a cup of his own. He didn’t need it; he was wide awake now anyway. Eventually, Cassian pulled away, laughing against his mouth and shooing him toward the bedroom. “Go on already. Stop distracting me.”

Bodhi ducked his head down, forehead landing on Cassian's shoulder. He wrapped his arms around Cassian's back, fingers curling into the soft give of his sweater again, just holding him there for a minute. When he pulled back, Cassian's expression was fond, if a little confused, and he opened his mouth like he was going to offer Bodhi an out again. Bodhi shook his head, uncurling his hands and stepping back purposefully.

“I'm fine, just… nervous. Want this, though.” He made himself smile, then found that it became real when Cassian's face cleared, giving him the motivation he needed to walk out of the kitchen and down the hall. 

Inside the bedroom, Bodhi stripped out of his hoodie and looked at the bed, sheets and blankets still rumpled from the night before. He straightened them out, then, thinking better of it, stripped the duvet off and folded it onto a chair in the corner. The bed looked huge like that, white sheets stretching out toward the covered windows, strips of light peeking around the edges. Nerves thrumming in Bodhi’s chest, he crawled onto the mattress, dropping down onto his stomach in the center of the bed and pressing his face into the pillows. 

He heard when Cassian came into the room by the shuffle of his feet across the floor, and he turned his head in time to see Cassian putting a tray down onto the nightstand, a glass of water and a plate with some fruit on top, along with a few other supplies that made warmth swirl in Bodhi’s stomach. Like he’d never seen a bottle of lube before, which was ridiculous. 

He turned until his mouth wasn’t muffled by the pillows, voice coming out strangled. “S-so, what are you going to tie me up with? Got a set of handcuffs i don’t know about?”

Smirking a little, Cassian dug through the top drawer of the dresser and came out with a couple of neckties clenched in his hand. They looked familiar, from the various times Bodhi had seen Cassian in a suit and tie before. He was glad that he wouldn’t be the one bringing them to the dry cleaner back in the city.

“I thought, um, these would work maybe. Soft enough to keep from chafing at least? Didn’t make any special shopping trips beforehand… hope that’s okay.”

It was more than okay, but Bodhi couldn’t gather the words to say that, offering a smile and a thumbs-up instead before rolling over onto his back. 

“D’you want me this way, or on my front?” he asked, biting back a grin at the way Cassian’s ears were slowly turning pink. Cassian recovered quickly, drawing his eyes down over Bodhi's body with his lip caught between his teeth, like he was considering the merits of either position.

“Like that, at least to start.”

Bodhi swallowed, and shivered, anticipation crackling under his skin. “Right. Good, then,” he said. Then, impatiently, “You gonna stand over there all day or what?”

Cassian shook his head in response, crossing the short distance to the bed and bringing one knee up on the edge, reaching for Bodhi's wrist. “Shift up a little. Don't want to wrench your shoulder too much.”

Bodhi bent his knees and pressed his feet into the mattress, pushing up until his head was almost up against the headboard. Luckily, Draven’s taste in furniture tended toward the sturdy, a wooden frame with slats that Cassian was able to weave the tie through. He knotted it in place, then picked up Bodhi's hand and lifted it into position. 

“Can you hold that there? Need both hands to do a knot.”

Bodhi nodded, every brush of Cassian's fingers against his skin making his breath catch in his chest. Cassian tied a quick knot, sliding two fingers under the edge after. “Is that loose enough?” he asked, using those same two fingers to tilt Bodhi's chin up toward him. “Need you to answer, so I know you're still alright, love.”

Throat dry, Bodhi swallowed, then managed to blurt out an answer, twisting his wrist inside the restraint, then tugging against it lightly. “Seems good. Can move a little still.”

Cassian smiled, softly, leaning down to brush his mouth over Bodhi's and whispering his response over Bodhi's lips. “Good.”

He stood up and walked around to the other side, Bodhi's head twisting to follow his movements. Repeating the actions with Bodhi's other hand, Cassian checked the knot, then asked again, “Still okay?”

Bodhi twisted both wrists this time, tugging a little more forcefully. “I'm good.”

“You look good, like this. Waiting for me.”

Warmth filled Bodhi's chest at the praise, and he settled back into the pillows, shifting his hips back and forth on the sheets. “Well, what are you gonna do with me, then? Now that you've got me?”

Cassian dragged his hand down the inside of Bodhi's arm, laughing when Bodhi twitched away. 

“Shit, that tickles!”

“I'll remember that, for some other time. For today, I think I'll just see how much I can make you beg.”

Cassian’s hand kept moving, across Bodhi’s chest and down over his ribs. Bodhi’s hips rocked up, instinct and sense memory making his cock harden in his briefs. He could beg already, a moan caught in the back of his throat, tangled up with Cassian’s name. He forced it back though, breathing in deeply as Cassian’s palm swept across his stomach. “You’re - you’re gonna have to get my cock out if you want me to beg, Cass.”

Cassian’s mouth twitched, hand pulling away as he brought his other knee up onto the bed. He hummed softly, reaching down to grasp the hem of his sweater and pulling it up over his head, sleep pants tugged low on his hips. Saliva pooled in Bodhi’s mouth, the urge to reach up and touch Cassian stronger than the ache to _be_ touched. He couldn’t stop the whimper that broke free from his chest, or the way his hand jerked forward the few inches of movement that the restraints allowed.

The sweater came up over Cassian’s head, his hair tousled and soft, his face a wide grin of happiness. “I don’t know. Seems like all I need to do is strip.”

Bodhi knocked his knee against Cassian’s thighs, trying to scowl and only half succeeding.

Cassian laughed and leaned over to kiss Bodhi, sliding his hand inside Bodhi's briefs to grip his cock. He pulled back to nip along the line of Bodhi's neck, hand starting a lazy stroke that wandered through different rhythms, switching every time Bodhi started to rock up into it. 

“Gotta be patient,” Cassian said, moving between Bodhi's knees and tugging at the waistband of his underwear until they slipped over Bodhi's hips. 

Bodhi sighed, and focused on the feeling of Cassian's thumb rubbing back and forth over his hipbone. The tension eased out of his shoulders, fingers uncurling until his knuckles brushed against the headboard. Cassian hummed softly, a pleased sound, then stripped Bodhi's underwear the rest of the way off and laid down between his legs. 

He stroked Bodhi's cock twice, kissed the head softly, then smirked and took Bodhi into his mouth. 

***

Saliva slipped down, out of Cassian's mouth and past Bodhi's balls, along his perineum, until it met Cassian's lube-slicked fingers. Bodhi let out a soft keen as one slid over his hole, circling and pressing down gently. He could feel his pulse there, throbbing in time with Cassian's mouth working down over his cock, retreating with a bit of suction that made Bodhi's toes curl against the sheets.

“Fuck, Cass. Trying t’kill me, or somethin’.” Bodhi could hear his accent thickening, words slurring together. He forced his eyes open, looking down his own body toward where Cassian was caged between his legs, one arm curled around Bodhi's thigh to hold him in place and the other still teasing against his hole. “Put your fingers in me, c’mon now.”

Cassian pulled off, dragging in a deep breath and turning his face to pant against the inside of Bodhi's thigh. He pressed a kiss there, mouth warm and wet, then slid lower, down to the crease of Bodhi's hip. “Want - wanna put more than that in you. Can I?” With his forehead pressed against Bodhi's hip, he couldn't see Cassian's cheeks, but his ears were red, and the fingers of his clean hand twitched with nerves. He edged lower still, tongue darting out against Bodhi's skin. “Bo, can I lick you out?”

Bodhi's cock jerked, precome pearling at the tip. “Fucking Christ, Cass,” Bodhi bit out, head falling back on the pillows. Then, more quietly, fingers curled around the slats of the headboard, “Yeah. Yes, fuck. Please.”

Cassian didn't laugh, didn't comment on the pleading tone of Bodhi's voice, just slid back further on the bed, shouldered Bodhi's thighs apart, and leaned down to breathe damply against where Bodhi was exposed. The first touch of his tongue was tentative, a soft lap that barely caught the rim before moving up toward Bodhi's tightly drawn balls. 

Bodhi's breath shuddered out of him, cock hard and leaking against his stomach. Cassian dipped back again, more confident, dragging the flat of his tongue across. Abs clenching, Bodhi drew his knees up higher, using his grip on the headboard as leverage. The third time, well, Cassian gave up any pretense, his mouth moving over Bodhi's skin in a lewd kiss, his fingers gripping the back of Bodhi's thighs hard enough to leave bruises. Hard enough that Bodhi hoped they would, a reminder of this moment impressed into his skin, a little jolt of pain every time he sat in a chair.

“F-fuck.” The word and his breath hitched out of Bodhi's lungs, a whine joining them when Cassian's tongue stiffened to a point and dipped just inside. “U-uhhh-hh.”

Cassian dragged his hand down, leaving a smear of lube against the back of Bodhi's thigh. There was a soft snick as he coated his fingers again, then a deeper press against his hole, tongue still twisting in place. Bodhi willed his body to relax, even as his biceps flexed to hold himself in position, the first stretch of Cassian's finger inside him a familiar ache. Bodhi breathed through it, trying to urge Cassian on with the soft noises escaping his chest, half encouragement, half nonsense.

“S’good, Cass. Fuhhh-fuck, more - please, I can, I can take more.”

Cassian pulled his mouth away, panting, then slipped his finger out to work two back in slowly. Voice hoarse, he whispered his own nonsense back into Bodhi's skin. “Look so good like this, begging for my mouth, for my fingers. Bet you could come just like this, riding my hand, still be asking for more with it dripping off your chest.”

Cassian's fingers curled inside him, pushed in as far as they could reach. Cassian was right, Bodhi could feel that thread of pleasure starting to curl in his gut, a live wire crackling whenever Cassian's fingers dragged back out against the sensitive rim, a third finger slowly but surely stretching him open. The thread broke when Cassian leaned back in, tongue curling around his fingers like he couldn't get enough of Bodhi's taste. 

It felt like every muscle in his body clenched, pleasure singing through him and vision going white. Come spilled out of his cock, pooling on his stomach and streaking up his chest in a heated mess. Cassian worked him through it, thumb pressing against Bodhi's perineum and stroking upward until he went almost boneless, knees dropping off to each side. 

Things became a little blurry after that, punctuated by the achy emptiness when Cassian slipped his fingers out, the shiver of pleasure when Cassian slid his tongue across the head of Bodhi's cock, teasing out the last weak spurt of come. Then, it was just the care that Cassian took with him that bled through, hands gently moving his legs into a more comfortable position, warmth against his side when Cassian settled beside him to check his wrists. Bodhi slipped his eyes open, vision blurring and then shifting into focus as he realized that Cassian was talking to him softly. 

“Did so well, love. So good for me. Love making you feel good.”

“Always do,” he managed, before clearing his throat and trying again. “Always make me feel good, Cass. Love you.”

Cassian leaned in and then dipped his head to nuzzle against Bodhi's cheek at the last moment. “Won't kiss you ‘till I've brushed my teeth and all, sorry.”

Bodhi nodded and leaned into the touch, his body angling against Cassian's warmth. He was hard against Bodhi's hip, sleep pants distorted with the jut of his cock trapped inside still. “What ‘bout you? Want t’make you feel good too. Want you to fuck me still.”

Cassian grinned, happiness shining in his eyes even as he rocked his hips forward. “Want that too. Just giving you a minute, making sure you haven't hurt yourself.” His fingers wrapped around Bodhi's wrists, somehow cool and warm at once. He made a soft noise, almost distressed, then slid his fingers under the edge of the restraint. “You're a bit red here. I think I should untie you before it gets any worse.”

Bodhi frowned, fingers clenching slightly. “Don't want you to. I like - I like...” He ducked his head, chest tightening. “Like being good for you.”

Cassian pressed a kiss against the inside of Bodhi's wrist, tender and careful. “You can be good still, keep your hands here and get on your knees for me, yeah?”

Bodhi swallowed, the image flooding his mind. “Yeah - yeah, I can.”

“Good.” Cassian shifted up onto his knees, fingers picking at the knot while concentration creased his brow. Tongue caught between his teeth, he grumbled in frustration, then reached across Bodhi's body to grab something on the nightstand. Bodhi caught a flash of silver, then the bright sound of metal on metal and cold against his wrist. Then, his hand was free, and Cassian's tie was in two pieces, thanks to the heavy scissors in Cassian's hand. 

“Y-you cut it?” he stammered out, moments before his other hand was cut loose, circulation sending pins and needles along Bodhi's shoulders as he brought his arms down. 

“Didn't want to worry about messing with the knots after. You pulled a bit, tightened everything up.” 

Cassian looked unconcerned, but heat flooded through Bodhi, an overwhelming sensation of love for this man that would take care of him, and shame because he'd destroyed something of his own to do it. “M’sorry, I'll replace them for you. Fuck, I didn't mean to ruin things.”

Cassian's eyes went wide, hands coming up to cup Bodhi's face. “Oh, Bo. Don't be sorry, was my fault for not being more prepared. They're just ties anyway.” He leaned in, and touched their foreheads together. “You didn't do anything wrong, I promise.”

Bodhi held Cassian's gaze, finding nothing but honesty there, and letting that feeling wash over him. He wound his arms around Cassian's back and snuggled into his chest, pressing a kiss over his heart for good measure. “Okay.” Then, letting a cheeky smile steal over his face, he added, “Now, you said something about me getting on my knees for you?”

Bodhi proved he could be good like that as well, the remnants of Cassian's ties dangling over the backs of his hands as he gripped the headboard. After the intensity of before, Cassian curled over his back was like comfort, cock sliding inside easily, hands braced on Bodhi's hips. 

Still - the rhythm of it, the angle, Cassian's mouth wet against the back of his neck smearing praises into his skin - it all added up to Bodhi begging for Cassian's hand on his cock, rocking back into Cassian's thrusts as he edged toward his second orgasm of the morning. 

Cassian didn't last long after that, shifting to place his hands over Bodhi's on the headboard and groaning Bodhi's name as he came. He laid there for a minute, panting weakly, shifting back apologetically when Bodhi twisted his hips impatiently. 

“Sorry, love. Wore myself out.” Cassian pulled out, hand gripping the condom, then climbed off the bed to tie it off and drop it into the trash by the dresser. He came back to kiss Bodhi's knuckles, uncurling his fingers from the slats of the headboard. “Here, stretch your fingers out a bit, gonna get you cleaned up in a minute.”

Bodhi tucked his arms underneath himself, face pressed into the pillows as Cassian moved around the room behind him. He could fall asleep, except for the wet spot under his stomach, growing cold and sticky as the moments passed. Before he could complain, though, Cassian was rubbing a hand down his back and guiding him to his feet. “Just going to give you a wash up, then I'll get the sheets changed, okay?”

Bodhi smiled hazily, leaning his weight into Cassian as he slowly came back to reality. “You're good for me too, you know.”

Cassian stopped to press Bodhi back against the wall, letting Bodhi curl around him with a sigh. He kissed Bodhi's shoulder, and the join of his neck. “Glad you think so. Love you so much.”

Bodhi smiled, safe and sated, tipping Cassian's chin up to kiss him on the mouth, glad for the taste of toothpaste on his teeth.

“Love you too.”


	5. December

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There were supposed to be three more parts to this, which I have outlined, but real life is kicking my ass and I'd rather post what's finished than leave anyone who's reading this hanging. If I get around to doing the other parts later, I'll add them in either as parts of the series, or new chapters on this fic. 
> 
> Thanks to anyone that's still reading, sorry for the delay.

“That's not - I can't afford that! How can you just….Fine, whatever.”

Bodhi stabbed at the ‘end call’ button on his cell, wishing for one desperate moment for a land line so he could have the satisfaction of slamming down the receiver. He shoved his phone into his pocket and scrubbed a hand through his hair before turning to find Cassian watching him, expression guarded.

“Everything alright?” he asked, leaning against the kitchen counter. Bodhi's coffee had been abandoned there when the phone rang, and he reached for it as a distraction, grimacing at the cold taste. 

“Landlord's decided I'm rich now that I've got a ‘real job’. Lease is up in a month and the rent’s doubling.”

Cassian stepped into Bodhi's space, hands warm when he reached out to slide them over Bodhi's arms, shoulder to elbow. Comforting, and careful, like he always was. “That's a shit thing to do. I'm sorry.” His face flushed a little, and he looked away, dragging his lower lip through his teeth. “Could always move into mine.”

Bodhi froze, heart hammering up against his ribcage. “That's not - I wasn't trying to suggest-” Bodhi sputtered, reaching up to touch Cassian's shoulder. 

“No, I just thought -” He laughed, half-heartedly. “Could stop waking the neighbors at all hours, plus then I'd never have to climb all those stairs again…”

Bodhi grinned, leaning in to brush his mouth over Cassian's jaw, the rough scrape of stubble harsh against his lips. “S’been doing wonders for your calves though, just really making you extra fit, y’know.”

Cassian snorted, turning to catch Bodhi's mouth with his own, the kiss deepening into something with more intent as Bodhi pushed Cassian back against the counter. 

He broke away from the kiss after a minute, gripping Bodhi's hips tightly. “I can do the stair machine at the gym - which my building has - if you like it so much. We could go together even. Can't stop to make out in the stairwell though…”

Bodhi shook his head, dropping his face down against Cassian's shoulder. “A gym. A _doorman_. Cass, I can't afford half your rent either. I just...I'll figure something out. Was just complaining, alright?”

Cassian let out a breath like he was gearing up to say something, his whole chest rising and falling under Bodhi's cheek. Bodhi slid over, fit his mouth against Cassian's neck, and started working his way down the sensitive column of Cassian's throat. Chest rumbling as he groaned, Cassian slid his hands around Bodhi's back and pulled him closer. 

“I could move here, if that's what you wanted. Or we could look for a new place.”

Bodhi could feel the flutter of Cassian's pulse, the hitched breaths he was trying to hide, but doubt kept creeping up into the back of his mind. They'd still hardly see each other. What if Cassian got sick of him, or resented him for making him give up his fancy elevator? What if they only worked when they had distance to fall back on?

“I… appreciate the thought, but, really, I'll figure it out. Now, I've got a few more hours before I need to leave for the airport, and I really think you need to fuck me before I go.”

There was a beat of hesitation, then Cassian laughed, leaning back to look at Bodhi's face with a grin of disbelief. “Oh, well if _that's_ what you think, who am I to say you're wrong?”

Bodhi gripped his hands in Cassian's shirt, two fistfulls of fabric, and started walking backward toward the bedroom. “Come on, love. Let’s see if you can fuck me hard enough that I can still feel you at 30,000 feet.”

The bright purple Cassian turned at that comment was totally worth the terrible line.

***

**⟪missed call - 15 December - 7:58 PM - voicemail message-** _“Hey Cass, it’s Bodhi. Shit. I was hoping to catch you. Listen, my flight’s been cancelled and they’re rerouting me to Tucson, so I’ll be gone for a couple more days. Um, leave me a message so I know you got this, it’ll be late when I finally land. Talk to you tomorrow, hopefully. Love you.”_ **⟫**

**__** _⟪text message received - December 17 - 11:19:24 AM from: Cass - Have to catch a redeye to London, wish you were my pilot haha. I’ll try to call when I land but … time zones. Miss you⟫_

***

**⟪08:53:19 PM - flight’s delayed again, hoping to get a break in the weather so we can take off. I’ll text if I end up overnight here, don’t wait up for me. Love you⟫**

**⟪11:57:32 PM - landed. Be there as soon as i can, not sure how long it will take to get a taxi.⟫**

Bodhi stared out the window of the taxi, head tipped back against the seat. The streets were almost empty, snow falling heavy and wet against his window and settling a layer of white over everything. It would have been peaceful, except for the muttered cursing coming from the driver as he attempted to keep his windshield clear. After a particularly inventive phrase in what he suspected was Russian, the man whacked the heating controls with the heel of his hand and flipped the defroster to high. 

On the other side of the road, a plow crawled by, slowly burying everyone that hadn’t moved their car off the street and dropping a layer of sand and salt in its wake, spraying the side of the taxi as it passed. Bodhi turned his face away from the window and met the driver’s eyes in the rear view mirror. 

“Almost there, friend. Sorry for the slow ride.”

Bodhi gave a tired smile. “Just how it is sometimes. I’m happy just to be on the ground for a while.” He looked away, not wanting to invite any more conversation. 

They drove a few more blocks, finally pulling up in front of Cassian’s building. Bodhi reached into his jacket pocket, feeling the keycard Cassian had handed to him a few weeks ago tucked in next to his wallet. He paid the driver, climbing out to collect his luggage from the trunk and then walking up to the building. 

He realized belatedly that he should have pulled the keycard out before his hands were full of bags, trying to shift things to one hand so he could dig it out of his pocket. Muttering softly to himself, Bodhi glanced up as he walked under the building’s awning, the lights overhead muted and inviting. He was surprised to find the door already held open for him, the crisp green of the doorman’s uniform pressed against the glass. 

“Good evening, Sir. No need to bother with your card, I recognize you. Mr. Andor mentioned that his partner would be coming home today.” The man couldn’t possibly have known the flare of emotion that those words shot through Bodhi, a professional smile on his face as Bodhi squeezed past with his bags pulled close to his body. 

Face flushing, Bodhi mumbled, “Yes, I am” for lack of a better response, tacking on a belated, “Thank you” as the door shut and he was surrounded by the warmth of the building’s heating system. Being in the lobby here made him feel like he was playing dress up, a pilot’s uniform beneath a long wool coat, snow in his hair and a plush carpet beneath his feet. The only thing missing was a grand staircase for some starlet to sweep down. Instead he had an elevator that arrived swiftly and Cassian waiting for him upstairs. 

Somehow that thought seemed infinitely better.

Bodhi stepped onto the elevator and set down one of his bags, touching the number for Cassian’s floor and leaning against the wall to watch the numbers tick upward. The quiet settled around him, exhaustion following behind to drag his eyelids down and loosen his grip on his bag. He stood up with a jerk when the door slid open, thankful that no one was awake to catch him half asleep in the elevator car.

Bodhi picked up his bag and turned left down the hall, grimacing the salt lined footprints he was leaving on the carpet from the snow clinging to his shoes. Standing outside Cassian’s door he sighed, exasperated at himself. He set down his bag and dug out the keycard, tapping it against the electronic lock and pushing his way inside. 

Cassian was sitting on the couch, slumped to one side, the glow from the television lighting up his face. He sat up when Bodhi shut the door, startled, drawing in a sharp breath. Bodhi shoved his bags up against the wall, tossing the keycard on the table by the door and walked over to Cassian. 

“Hey, it’s just me. Thought I told you not to wait up?”

Cassian looked dazed for a moment, eyes unfocused. He rolled his shoulders and sat up straighter. Bodhi leaned down, steadying himself against the back of the couch as he kissed Cassian in greeting, softly and far too brief. He straightened up, tugging on his tie as he moved away, and pulling his overcoat off.

Cassian stretched, a yawn distorting his voice for a moment. “Wanted, ah, wanted to make sure I saw you when you got in. Was hoping you wouldn’t change your mind about coming here instead of just going to your own apartment.”

Bodhi tossed his coat over a chair and walked over to drop down on the couch next to Cassian, leaning into his side. “Mmm, no. Missed you too much for that.” 

Cassian wrapped an arm around his back and Bodhi curled closer, his head resting on Cassian’s shoulder. He reached for Cassian’s other hand, slotting their fingers together, then turned to kiss the rough stubble on Cassian’s jaw. Cassian hummed, twisting so they were facing each other, and catching Bodhi’s mouth in a more fervent kiss. Breaking off after a moment, Cassian brushed his hands over Bodhi’s cheeks. “I missed you, too.”

He moved to lean back in, but Bodhi tugged on his hand instead, looking pointedly down the hall to Cassian’s bedroom. 

“You look exhausted. Go to bed. If you don’t mind, I’m just going to shower real quick. I’m sure I smell like seven hours of recycled air and airline food.”

Cassian’s eyes opened wider, tongue sneaking out to lick his lips. “Would you say no to a bit of company in there?”

Unbidden, Bodhi’s face slid into a suggestive smile. He slipped out of Cassian’s arms and stood up from the couch, Cassian’s head turning to follow his movement. Hands still clasped, he pulled Cassian to his feet in front of him, his other hand curving over Cassian’s hip. He leaned in for another kiss, warmed by the arm that came up around his back to hold him close.

Cassian pulled back. “Is that a yes? Because that seemed like a yes to me.”

Bodhi laughed. “Yes, you can come ogle me while I shower. Perv.”

Cassian attempted to look affronted, but he couldn’t seem to stop smiling enough to do so. “You seem to be under the impression that I’m going to keep my hands to myself. I’m not sure where you got that idea.”

“Mmm maybe from the part where you were just passed out asleep when I came in?”

Cassian started shuffling backward, pulling Bodhi along with him. “Clearly I was just napping, so I could ravish you when you got here.”

Bodhi rolled his eyes. “Well, some of us didn’t get a nap, so let’s maybe save the ravishing for the morning. Right now I just want to get clean and warm so I can sleep for the next seventeen hours.”

Cassian stopped at the bathroom door, flipping on the light and moving to one side for Bodhi to walk in. He was maybe pouting a little, but Bodhi could tell that it was meant as a teasing joke. He toed off his shoes and started stripping, gleefully dropping his uniform into a messy pile. He had a fresh pressed one in his luggage, but he was off for the next four days and he didn’t intend to look at it until he absolutely had to. This one would end up at the cleaners, whisked away while he was asleep most likely. It was nice, having someone that thought to take care of him like that. 

Occasionally he caught a glimpse of Cassian watching him, the heat of his gaze like a physical touch on Bodhi’s exposed skin. He returned the appreciation in kind, a smile automatically pulling at his lips as Cassian pulled his t-shirt over his head and shook out the halo of messy hair that emerged. He shoved his pants and underwear down and stepped over to turn on the shower, leaning inside the glass enclosure to test the temperature against his hand.

The last of his clothes on the floor, Bodhi unstrapped his watch and set it on the counter by the sink, walking over to Cassian and slotting himself along Cassian’s back. He kissed Cassian’s shoulder, smiling at the shiver that ran through Cassian, then wrapped his arms around Cassian’s waist. Slightly shorter than Cassian, his cock nestled just under the curve of Cassian’s ass. He pushed his hips forward, shifting back and forth slightly just to feel Cassian’s skin slide against his own. 

“For someone that wants to sleep, you’re being awfully friendly back there,” Cassian said, looking back over his shoulder. 

Bodhi turned his cheek against Cassian’s back. “I’m always friendly.”

Cassian’s shoulders shook slightly. “You’re ridiculous is what you are.”

Bodhi nudged Cassian again with his hips, a little more insistently this time. “I’m starting to get cold, is the water ready yet?” 

Twisting around, Cassian slid a wet hand down Bodhi’s side, drops of water sliding off to run down his hip. “Sorry, someone was distracting me.”

He stepped over the threshold onto the tiled shower floor and under the spray of the showerhead. Bodhi watched for a second, admiring the view, before stepping in and pulling the door shut behind him. Steam began to build up on the glass almost immediately and Bodhi wound his arms around Cassian once more, pushing his way under the water. He groaned at the heat, and the pressure of the water against his spine, tension that he hadn’t realized he was holding slowly melting down the drain. 

“You know, making noises like that doesn’t make it any easier to keep my hands to myself either,” Cassian said, tilting Bodhi’s face up to kiss him. Then, surprisingly, he stepped back out of the spray and leaned against the shower wall. 

It took a lot of restraint not to follow him, to press him against the tile and rut against him, to slide down to his knees…

Bodhi tipped his head up toward the ceiling, letting the water wash over him. Grabbing some shampoo off the shelf, he washed his hair, rubbing the suds over his face as well before turning around to face the showerhead and rinse it off. He turned back around to get the body wash, and looked up to see Cassian watching him. Eyes half closed, one arm wound around his waist and the other resting against his hip, hand just loosely holding his cock. 

Restraint was overrated anyways. 

Bodhi reached out to touch Cassian’s arm, sliding his fingers down until they slipped over his wrist. Then he wrapped his fingers around and pulled Cassian’s hand away from himself, stepping into the opening and guiding Cassian’s arm around his back. Face pressed into Cassian’s shoulder, Bodhi whispered, “Hey, you’re too far away over here.”

Cassian turned his face, kissing Bodhi’s temple and sliding his hand up Bodhi’s spine. “Thought I was behaving myself.”

Laughing, Bodhi said, “Well, you can stop now. Come help me wash up so we can go to bed.”

Cassian pushed off the wall and walked Bodhi backward under the spray. He ran his hands over Bodhi’s back and up to cradle the back of his head, drawing him into a heated kiss. Bodhi relaxed even further, leaning his weight against Cassian. He drifted, letting Cassian pull away from the kiss before resting his head on Cassian's shoulder. 

It felt so nice, being cared for like this. Cassian's strong hands running soap over his back, the shiver that ran through him when the drifted lower. Then, being turned and cradled against Cassian's chest while he worked soapy fingers over Bodhi's stomach and down to carefully circle his cock. It gave a twitch of interest, but exhaustion overruled. He wanted Cassian, always, but right now he just wanted to be tangled up beside him in their bed. 

Bodhi's brain stuttered on that thought. _Their_ bed. _(Mr. Andor said his partner was coming home today.)_ Home was here, and not because of the elevator or the doorman or the fantastic water pressure. Home was here, with Cassian.

Cassian nuzzled gently against his neck. “What's wrong?”

Pulse racing, Bodhi turned around. He tugged Cassian's hand to his chest, palm over his heart, and offered him a smile. “I just love being here with you, that's all.”

Cassian leaned in, pressing soft kisses across Bodhi's face. “I love having you here. I wish you would stay.”

Bodhi closed his eyes, bringing his arms up around Cassian's shoulders. “Okay.”

It took Cassian a minute, then his hands stopped wandering and tightened on Bodhi's hips. “Okay?”

Turning his face against Cassian's neck, he whispered, “Okay, I'll stay. If the offer still stands?”

Cassian reached behind himself and shut off the water, pulling back to look at Bodhi's face, to judge his sincerity. Whatever he saw, it must have been right, because a smile bloomed on his face, bright enough to melt the snow piling up outside. It spilled over into Bodhi, warmth filling his chest. Brushing damp hair back out of Cassian's face, Bodhi said, “I'll take that as a yes, then.”

“Fuck. Of course it's yes, Bo.”

He leaned in and kissed Bodhi, fiercely, one hand curved around the back of his neck to hold him in place. Bodhi let himself get swept up in it, clutching at Cassian desperately. 

As the kiss moved from his mouth to his jaw, tongue and teeth marking a line down his neck, Bodhi panted out, “Can we go to bed now?”

Cassian pushed open the shower door, the heated humidity quickly replaced by the much cooler air in the rest of the bathroom. Bodhi shivered. Cassian held him tighter, reaching out to grab a towel to wrap around him before carefully stepping out on the mat and guiding Bodhi to follow him. 

Quickly toweling off, batting away Cassian's hands when they tried to sneak in to help, Bodhi laughed. “Think I can handle drying off, thanks.”

Cassian flushed, red spreading from his collarbone down his chest, an arch of heat across his cheeks. “Sorry. I'm kind of expecting myself to wake up alone on the couch at any moment. Need a reminder that you're really home.”

Bodhi wrapped the towel around his waist, and grabbed Cassian's hand. “You've got me. Now come on, I think we're both exhausted.” Then, he pulled Cassian down the hall to the bedroom, tossed his towel over the hamper, and collapsed onto the bed.

Moments later, Cassian joined him, slinging an arm across his waist and kissing his shoulder. Bodhi leaned into his warmth, pulling the blankets up over them both, and drifted off to sleep.

***

Bodhi woke up in the morning, wrapped in Cassian's arms, and with an insistent hardness pressed against his hip. He stretched, shifting against Cassian, and turned toward him to rock his own equally hard erection against Cassian's stomach. 

Cassian groaned, and covered his face. 

“Good morning,” Bodhi murmured, kissing the short scruff on Cassian's chin. He laid there a moment, feeling the soft rise and fall of Cassian’s chest beneath him, the thrum of Cassian’s heartbeat a steadying reminder that they had nowhere else to be. He ducked in again, tracing a trail of kisses along the side of Cassian’s throat, waking him slowly. Cassian slid the hand away from his face, revealing a less scrunched expression, a warmth in his eyes that Bodhi could melt in.

“Morning,” Cassian breathed, a drowsy rasp in his voice. Bodhi grinned, hand tracing up from Cassian’s chest to cup his cheek. Cassian turned into the touch, pressing a kiss to Bodhi’s palm, the gesture making Bodhi’s heart ache with joy. Bodhi’s face flushed, a silly thing considering all the other intimacies they’d shared in the past. 

“Missed you,” Cassian whispered across his skin, with another teasing kiss to Bodhi’s wrist before he let go. He shifted, sending a tease of friction against Bodhi’s cock, then smiled at the soft intake of breath Bodhi couldn’t hold back. 

“Me too,” Bodhi murmured, in the instant before he captured Cassian’s lips in a real, all encompassing kiss. Cassian didn’t hold back, tilting his mouth into the perfect angle so Bodhi wouldn’t have to strain his neck. He brushed a hand down Cassian’s side to clutch at his hip, rewarded with a soft breathy sigh. It had been too long, the distance too great, and now Cassian was finally there. 

Between heady kisses, Bodhi dared to let his hand dip lower, sliding down the trail of hair on Cassian’s stomach to grip his cock. He was too impatient for teasing, feeling the weight of Cassian at his fingertips, stroking his palm up as Cassian let out a satisfying moan. Cassian broke his lips away from Bodhi’s with hunger in his eyes, bucking into Bodhi’s touch. Then, he reached out with his own roaming hands, brushing a hand down to squeeze Bodhi’s ass and pull him closer.

“Come up here,” he said, guiding Bodhi’s knee up over his thighs until Bodhi was laid out on top of him, arms braced on either side of Cassian’s shoulders. Bodhi looked down - at Cassian’s sleep soft face and tousled hair, at his kissed bruised mouth and kind eyes - and felt absolutely sure that he had made the right decision. 

This was home.

Then, Cassian pulled him down for another kiss, and he stopped worrying altogether.


End file.
